thelongandwindingrefn:

*does something incredibly stupid or embarrassing* well, one day we’ll all be fucking dead. Everybody dead. We’ll all die. Fucking dead. Everyone. Fucking everyone gone. No more bad times.

supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

,,

Every introvert alive knows the exquisite pleasure of stepping from the clamor of a party into the bathroom and closing the door.

Sophia Dembling, The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World  (via ab-sences)

(Source: thesoutherly)

princeofkawaii:

middleshiner:

why are men always spitting all over the sidewalk? do men create more saliva than women and need to get rid of it? are they marking their territory? what’s going on?

They can’t swallow because that’s gay

(Source: middleshiner-archive)

natawhat:

misandrist:

People in their twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults

I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.

(Source: officialjeffgoldblum)